Chore Chart

I recently put together a formal chore chart for the boys. For the past year they've been cleaning up their own room and picking up the living room floor every evening, but I thought it was time to up the ante.


We started the boys off with simple chores like wiping down counter tops. The boys put a checkmark on their chart after morning chores, and another after evening chores. We're providing an incentive at the end of each week to help the training process move smoothly (interpretation: without kicking and screaming). At the end of the week they get to pick out a toy and a snack at the dollar store if they've done all their chores. Sometimes we offer them the choice of getting frozen yogurt with Dad instead. Their reward is the incentive, but that they get to choose their reward for themselves is also an important part of our training process.

Mateo working on his morning chores.

Matthew and I have always planned on increasing their freedom alongside their responsibility as the kids grow older. One of our parenting goals is to help our kids gradually and naturally walk into adulthood by increasing their responsibility and their freedom as their maturity increases. We don't want them to continue to live like adolescents when they leave the nest. We also don't want them to wake up one day and be expected to live like adults without guiding them through that process. That's setting them up for failure. Before they're out of the house we want them to know how to do things like clean a house, do the laundry, cook a meal, balance a checkbook, fill out an application, check their car oil, yelp a good mechanic, etc. But we also want them to be confident decision makers. We want them to enjoy making fun decisions and to know that they have what it takes to make the tough ones.

We want our kids to take pride in getting older, taking on more responsibility, and moving closer to being a grown up. We want them to look forward to the freedom, independence, responsibility, authority, and influence that adulthood brings. I read a great Washington Post article by Judy Mollen Walters about how many children and teenagers are not looking forward to adulthood. Instead they think that being an adult is too hard and not something to look forward to, much less work towards. We want our kids to have a positive outlook on growing up instead of being afraid of it. We want them to embrace it instead of putting it off. Their chore chart is just one small step in their process.

As the boys' responsibilities increase the ante goes up for Matthew and I as well. One of the things that's challenging for us is the additional oversight that it takes to get the chores done right or to even get them done at all. The boys are ages 7 and 5 right now. They have a long way to go before they can do their jobs as well as Mommy and Daddy, especially without our reminding them. It also takes more oversight to lead them in the freedom and decision making process that will gradually increase as they grow. We've got a big job to do. Maybe Matthew and I should make ourselves a chart. Hee, hee.