When Things Don't Go Your Way: A Birth Story

Today my baby girl turns one. I can't believe it. A year ago today I was laying on an operating table, most of my body numb, laboring to breathe shallow breaths, when I heard her beautiful cry (and burst into tears myself). The doctor lifted her over the screen so I could get a brief glimpse of her before they did all the stuff hospitals do to a newborn baby. Then they laid her on my chest where she started nursing right away and nursed for what I thought was 15 minutes, but was really 40.

My 8 lb 14 oz princess was born perfectly chunky with exquisite rolls up and down her arms and legs, and big gorgeous cheeks. Have you ever wondered how you would feel when your unborn baby comes and you already have kids? And then they are born and you are totally in love all over again and you can't believe how you, one small simple person, could contain so much love? That was me.

We didn't know we were gonna have a C section. It wasn't what we planned on. I had birthed my two boys at home with a wonderful midwife when we lived in Orange County. When we moved to the Central Coast and got pregnant again I was worried that we wouldn't be able to find a midwife we loved as much as our first. We totally did though. We found a group of midwives that are absolutely fabulous - every one of them. I highly recommend with all my heart the midwives at Holistic Midwifery Care in San Luis Obispo County for a home or birth center birth.

We had terrific care - prenatal and postpartum. There was only one problem with this otherwise healthy pregnancy. My little girl's head was up by my ribs. We tried every trick in the book to try to turn her - even handstands in a swimming pool. She wouldn't move.

When my midwives gently informed me that a C section was the best option at that point, I was crushed. I had wanted to birth my baby in our new spacious country home. This wasn't a part of my plan. They transferred me over to a doctor, but continued to care for me, even coming to appointments and to the hospital with me. They also provided all of my postpartum care. They really are rockstars. 

I am so grateful for those midwives. I totally needed them. My recovery was rough. Some people have a great(or at least, not horrible) experience with their C sections. Mine was horrible. One of the midwives mentioned how recovery can be longer and harder for older mothers than younger, and she wasn't kidding. I couldn't even get out of bed or pick up my own baby to nurse her without help. 

Not only were my midwives available to me, but my husband and little boys stepped up to the plate. My neighbors helped take care of the boys for a day and a night while I was in the hospital. Our church brought us meals. My parents came up when Matthew's leave ended. My mom held Nora while my dad cooked and cleaned my kitchen EVERY DAY.

Things didn't go my way. I will never look on that time in the hospital with fondness, but I will always remember that beautiful chubby bundle cuddled on my chest and all the people in my life that helped me when I couldn't help myself. I've heard that it takes a village to raise a child, but sometimes it also takes a village to bring a child into the world.

Today, on her birthday